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  • Writer's pictureGerald Tindal

Day 78: Halloween revisited

Dogg Man: Beanz wrote a letter to you while in the desert. We saved it for today. JT Man

Zee Zee,

It’s October. Halloween. I’m sure you don’t remember your first Halloween costume, but I do and I bet most of my third grade class does too. At 5 months old, you stole the show. That infectious smile and laugh was a natural for you. Mama brought you into my classroom and of course everyone swooned over you “Aw, he’s so cute!” And me standing there, “Hello, did you guys see my costume? Ya, he’s a pumpkin. Whatever. I can do my times tables faster than you guys…”

Life was a natural for you. You just rolled. Starting when all you literally could do was roll. You grew into this amazing human who treated life with grace and humor and humility. Just being you stole the show.

So many Halloween stories. Age 5 – scariest thing you could think of for dad to carve for your jack-o-lantern “Axe in the head and beeeer spiiilliing!” How do you carve that in a pumpkin? Age 8 – field trip to the pumpkin patch and you stepped in a rotten pumpkin and barfed. Ha. Age 10 – I smashed your hands in the pumpkin goo and you dry heaved for about 10 minutes. Should I go on?

Each October turned into family adventures with you and Mads at the pumpkin patch, making you carry 87 pounds of pumpkins back because we couldn’t choose just one. And you just rolled. On to the carving challenges. Halloween parties where your mom was so adorable and creative with her costumes and your father showed up in his Nixon mask…every year.

We are at this impasse of nostalgia and memories that leave us astounded and breathless. You, always accepting, rolling with life. No judgment placed. Why not just smile, it’s the best part of the day.

Your dad brought up again today how you would always say, “I’m just a leaf on a river.”

You are not just a leaf on the river.

You are the current, the underground quiet force leading the rest of us. We are all just treading water right now and we cannot move on without you. So we won’t. Our path is so unknown without you, but you are still here. Still quietly leading us all.

October is you KT. We love you. Happy Halloween.

- Nee Nee

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