Karsten KT DoggMan: We’ve passed the 1,000 day mark. Today you would have been 31 years old. Such a young age.
Yes, another year and yes more moments of grief and respite. The cycle continues to orbit our life much as the earth orbits the sun. Marking day and night. Cycles within cycles. Slam downs and uplifts. Chaos moving slower but nevertheless chaos. Memories that won’t recede. Both a relief and a torture.
We have moved on in slight ways that sustain your presence in our life if not your life in our presence. Images from the past continue, the more recent the more difficult. We have moved on more quietly and more hesitantly with uncertainty borne on the jolt of shifts that pivot and thrust. Hoping this contrast can slow or stop such torque.
We continue to receive heartfelt moments that bring quiet joy to us. From others who know and understand. From those who will never know and never understand but are sympathetic to this potential for reality. The newspaper continues to publish these pivotal events of others who only count from a distance. You made it a reality.
We will honor you on your birthday by celebrating your life and, as I wrote to our dear friend Ed, ruining another perfectly good game of golf, just for you. We will eat hearty as you used to, no scraps left behind. We will rejoice in each other with you centered in our life. And we will quietly know that, though you departed early, you changed our life forever.
For another year, we will continue to foist another reality on what wasn’t to be but was in the end. Continue to quietly honor life in its mysteries and movements, slow change punctuated by catastrophic events. And mostly just continue. We will sit in the KT Courtyard and watch the sun set and mark the next day in this journey around the sun with the four of us.
Until the clouds roll in and the dark swallows us. But only for a while.
We love you buddy. Always will.
Dad Mann, Mama Llama, and Sev-Beanz
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