Today is not just the day that you died two years ago, but the day that life became just a moment. When time past, present, and future all blurred to tip over. Compress memories with plans. Leave understanding on its own with no reason to lean on. Dark fears no longer hiding in the night but present in the day through fleeting images. Change occurring at warp speed leveling everything in its way much like hurricanes, tsunamis, and landslides.
It was two years ago that we all woke up to the life and times of KT as an unforgettable memory. Someone who appreciated life. Lived for the moment. Filled us with joy. And just rolled through life with a presence that captured us. A leaf on a river. Your famous quote when asked your druthers. Letting others take over so you could lead from behind.
The past two years have been a struggle. No sense in making sense of something that doesn’t make sense. Moving forward because we have to with no options to do over. Reconsider. Flipping the reality of the moment to a brief glimpse of the other side when life was to be planned, measured, delivered, enjoyed, and rejoiced. Suddenly taken over by another side with no latitude for such reflections. Just stark remembrances of what happened. Hoping to still see you every day. Just around the corner bringing a halt to a bad dream.
The pictures of you around the house are frozen in time to your last days of your years with us. You have a handsome smile and beguiling look. On your way to somewhere and now no longer. So, we hang tightly to the good times with you. To trips as a family. To seeing your friends. To being together with each other.
Life is moving on even as it is tipped upside down. Perhaps it is the craziest of all that. Sickness and death have not been confined to us alone. It seems everywhere with a pandemic surging across populations. Riots upending social discourse. Painful lives stretching to the end of means for staying above the water line of a job, a home, and food to live.
So, we count our blessings. That we had the best life of all with you in the family and memories that are unforgettable. Sev is making a remarkable comeback from cancer. Your mom is the stalwart rock we lean on for support. Friends take us to new views of life with perhaps a glimpse of hope. So, at least we have each other, along with memories and stories of your presence. It’s all we have.
JT, Linda, and Sev
