Day 65: Positioned
The days roll by and you seem positioned in our life in an unsteady way. One day we hope to change that. It’s better than the juxtaposition of disbelief and despair. Not as fine as you here. When we rolled with you. So easy and busy. You positioned in a cool program and us positioned for me to retire. Sev and Mads positioned with jobs and a life well planned.
Yesterday, a few of us from BRT rolled out on bicycles on a route famous among local cyclists. A route taken so often over 30 years of training with George and Tom. You know the route well. Up the long draw of Fox Hollow and down into Lorane Valley, an off shoot from Willamette valley like so many others in this area. The change from broad spans of grains and grasses to narrow bands of cattle and logs. Narrow two lane roads with traffic mostly local.
The four of us were well positioned to segment the climbs and descents. Like all group rides, the positions were quickly established. A lead: B-rock, now B-east. Daniel: Always strong and sprinty. Me: Much like my dear friend George, steady. And Joe: Long and strong.
The ride was positioned on a day of exquisite fall weather in Oregon. Temperature in the 70’s and nothing but sunshine. Dry leaves making crunchy sounds on sidewalks. The ride was positioned to pull me out of a funk. The daily funk with all the clutter of your death. Insurance policies. Titles. Lawyering. The DMV: Ellen described it as the United Nations on a local level. She’s right.
The day was positioned to begin without you. Again. Waking up in grief yet again. The nightmare in daylight not darkness. Day after day but moving slowly to understanding. Unabashed sadness but acceptance if only because of no options. The only way.
The day was also positioned to announce the Celebration of Life, now accessible on this site. Edited to let all know how much you mean to all of us. How you live on through us. Positioned to have a legacy.
KT: You were all that is good and we will remember that. We will remember you.