Day 63: Capable and unable
The boat’s slowly drifting off. Untethered. Filled with grief slowly turning to sadness. A deep sadness revealing nothing in particular but a gulf between capable and able now turned to unable. The reach of what was possible spans this gulf. Now a breach.
We are about to publish the celebration of your life. Adam has edited the tribute from others, families and friends. Made audible the sounds over a football field PA system. The tributes punctuated by pictures curated by Beanz yesterday. Viewing the footage of a life from a baby to a young adult. So capable of anything achievable. Now unable. These states of able seem to be the divide now filled with grief: sadness over all things not done and now unable. The bucket list of plans left on the floor over time not taken.
Capable was so well captured by Merryn from classes you took in the SPM program focused on learning to market yourself for the career you wanted and how to best tell your story to reach goals. In her words: “I was amazed at how much he had grown as a leader from fall to spring. He used to be nervous to give presentations and by spring he was knocking it out of the park. I have a few videos of him presenting and if I do say so myself, kicking some major butt… My favorite is the 'ad improv' video. Karsten only had minutes to prepare for this. He had to get up in front of the class and do an analysis of the advertisement that he is holding. He was excellent. The ‘impromptu’ video is also very impressive. He had no time to prepare for this. I gave him the material he’s holding and he had to tell a story about it to the class - literally no time to prepare - he just got up there and did it. You should be so proud of the man he was as I’m sure you are. And the third video is him presenting with his teammate, Michael, on the big project they worked on all through 1st year.”
Merryn’s words so eloquently describe the difference between capable and unable. You were so capable of anything and now we are so unable to do anything. Your death divides the past with you such a big presence in our life and so capable from the future with you receding as a memory and us so unable to do anything about it. Capable and unable.
We love you again and again.