Day 62: Real and unreal
The world has divided into two realities: Real and unreal with your death separating them. All was real before August 14. Now much of life is unreal. Each day reveals itself with these two states.
Death has a vulgar under belly. Resolve the bank accounts. Transfer car/motorcycle titles. Rearrange passwords. Pay off creditors. Finalize estates. All of it solidifying that you are not here. Unreal.
The schedule of work equally divided. Once a love of asking questions about learning and teaching. A passion for the question, less the answer. Arranging methods for a glimpse into conjectures and refutations. Stringing numbers into a pattern to support a conjecture through the lack of a sufficient refutation. Unreal.
Battening down the hatches. With so many thieves now in our life, we must be under bright lights. The lights of the Dairy Queen on 174th and Division. Making ourselves visible for an exchange. Our address now marked on a map with a road connecting to more exchanges. Blue and White Storage with open hours to video tape a robbery. Unreal.
The pictures of you and us and others. On the refrigerator. In the albums. On the computer in our photo library. All of them about good times. Otherwise, why take them? A life well lived and even better appreciated by you. As told by your look. Unreal.
Working through others to support this glimpse of learning and teaching. Help others establish themselves in a meaningful way with work that is theirs. Assist others to move into careers so kids can learn. Kids living on the margin. Fringe dwellers. Real.
Being with others, family and friends, yours and ours. People who knew you and us. People who know us. This difference slightly edged but nevertheless. So welcome and present. Helping us navigate the transition to life with you as a fond memory not a tragic death. Real.
It seems only two reals exist among the many unreals. Shifting work and careers to others. Help them move forward. All with kids, gardens, pets, goals, lives of their own. Be with family and friends to move forward and better understand how to move forward. Put purpose back and above function.
Dogg Man. It still seems unreal. I can only promise that we’re working on it. We love.